Queen of the Damned

September 4th, 2006

Been awhile since I updated

9/4/06 05:46 pm

Oops. Hell I've been busy. Horribly busy. And people have just managed to piss me off lately. Cupcake's ex girlfriend (and I'm beginning to think they're all crazy, which I would say says something about me.. but I have only two normal exes too, so I just think that says something about people in general).... and might I point out this girl KNOWS we're expecting soon, messaged me and asked me for his number. I said I wouldn't give it out without asking him. I don't give out anyone's number without asking. Anyway, she tracked down his number, called him, and said "You know how I said one day we might get back together? Well I think today's that day." His response: "I don't think so, Scooter." Ha. Okay. He and I aren't together, right now I don't want anything between us other than what we have now, he and I are totally cool, but this chick is just fricken stupid to ask a guy's pregnant ex girlfriend for his number so she can ask him back. I love it that he shot her down. I know her uncle, although I haven't seen him in ages. He was in the ER last night (he's a paramedic, he wasn't a patient), and I came really close to going over and talking to him, with my big ol Buddha belly, and making it perfectly clear who the baby's dad is. However, I'm not that mean.
There's a horse running at Saratoga right now named Brave Sir Robin. That makes me think of Monty Python. I'm gonna be singing that tune all night.
I hear a helicopter. I'm hoping it's medical and not police. It flew right over my head, so I'm really hoping it's medical. I'd hate to think there's police circling around.

Current Location: home
Current Mood: bitchy

August 28th, 2006

What a weekend

8/28/06 03:27 pm

There was a plane crash yesterday at Bluegrass, 50 people aboard, only one survivor. Three people who died were involved in the thoroughbred industry. Two victims had been married the night before. Two were on their way to be married. One was on his way to build more homes for Habitat For Humanity. One man caught an earlier flight so he could go home and be with his children.

From today's Herald-Leader:

Comair 5191 never made it much beyond the moist green earth from which it had broken free.

An hour before sunrise in clearing weather, the airplane with 50 souls aboard ran out of runway. The Atlanta-bound plane lasted less than a minute aloft before falling a mile west of the airport, casting 50,000 pounds of debris and jet fuel about as it all burned mercilessly to a halt.

Forty-nine people on board were killed.

Immediately, the early-morning quiet enveloping Blue Grass Airport was no more.

Around 6:15 a.m., local hospitals were told to gather their staffs and to be ready for multiple trauma victims. Versailles Road became an emergency staging ground. Three police officers pulled a single man, the plane's first officer, barely alive, from the plane.

And the realization hit that Nick Bentley's farm had become both a crash site and sacred ground.

Sacred to us all, for the dead were familiar. Newlyweds, eager to start their honeymoon. Another couple on their way to be married. A well-known living saint. A University of Kentucky dean. A member of the family of Lexington's most prominent philanthropist.

As Lexington Mayor Teresa Isaac said, "We don't just sympathize with the families and friends of the victims; we are the families and friends of the victims."

I watched TV all day yesterday, up until the time to go to work, and sobbed. The first officer is in ICU at Chandler Medical Center. If he survives, they suspect he'll have no memory of the crash, which for his sake, I hope is correct. I can't imagine what it would have been like. Apparently the fire was so hot, so intense, that investigators suspect that's what killed the majority on board, not the impact.

And yet during recovery... yards away, two horses grazed, oblivious to what had happened. Lucky creatures.

My prayers are with the family and friends of those who lost their lives, and to the first officer and his family. May he survive, and have no memory of what happened.

Current Location: home
Current Mood: contemplative

August 12th, 2006

So I'm bored

8/12/06 11:55 pm

5 snacks I enjoy:

Pop Tarts
Snickers
Nutrigrain bars
frosty
Peanut Butter.

5 songs I know all the words to:

Margaritaville --Jimmy Buffett
My Old Kentucky Home
Golddigger --Kanye West
Goodnight and Thank You --from Evita
The Dope Show --Marilyn Manson

5 things I would do with a million dollars:

Pay off bills
Buy a house
Save money for Poot's college fund
Hire a maid/chef
Buy a horse

5 things I would never wear:

Thong bikini
Those ugly huge sunglasses that remind me of Elton John
Fishnet hose
Nothing in public
see through clothing

5 bad habits:

Procrastination
Clutter.
Worrying
Not eating right
Not spending enough time thinking of what I could improve about myself

5 favorite toys:

Camera
Cell phone
DVD player
Computer
coloring books (shut up!)

And now for the sevens...

7 Things I Plan to do Before I Die

Visit all 50 states
Visit at least 50 race tracks
Raise my child the best way I can
Find out what I really want to do with my life
Be happy
Speak Spanish fluently
Own a race horse

7 Things I Can Do

Curse in Spanish and Italian
Write damn good term papers (I wish I could be a professional student)
Tie a cherry stem in a knot with my tongue. This was way easier when I still had the gap between my front teeth, but I can still do it
My job, rather well.
Listen to people
Tango
sneeze so loudly that I scare my cat

7 Things I Cannot Do

Respect the moron who is our current president
Run a 4 minute mile.
Math, of any form
Kick higher than my head
Forgive my psychotic ex. I've tried.
Purposefully abort my baby. I don't see how anyone could harm a child once they've felt the kicks, or heard it's little heart beat. As a woman who never saw herself having a child... I'm telling ya, it's the greatest thing ever to feel those little fluttters, even when he's jumping on my bladder
Stay angry with almost anyone... except Psycho Ex

7 Things That Attract Me to the Opposite Sex

Sense of humor
Sexy eyes
Silver hair (Todd Pletcher, Anderson Cooper)
Anyone who is as much into horse racing as me (and not just for the gambling aspect)
Honesty
Nice booty
Being accountable for his own actions

7 Things I Say Most Often

Shut up!
Hell's bells
I'm sleepy
I'm hungry
Exercise ball! (inside joke)
I love you
How's my bebe?

Current Location: work
Current Mood: bored
Current Music: Numb/Encore --Jay Z and Linkin Park

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August 11th, 2006

Just call me Barbaro

8/11/06 06:43 pm

I have two bad legs and I'm the size of a horse. No lie. I like doubled in size overnight. I'm getting ready to waddle into work now, and I'm totally exhausted. I didn't sleep worth shit last night and I'm about to drop. I'd better not work with Bill tonight, or I may kill someone.

Current Location: home
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: My Old Kentucky Home --Villebillies and Nappy Roots

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August 7th, 2006

I'll let you whip me if I misbehave

8/7/06 04:13 am

Bluegrass Cat. Wow! Now that was a damn impressive win. And of course Todd looked hotttttt, especially when he's all sweaty. I'll just leave that at that before I go right to the gutter. Okay, I'm already there, I just won't take anyone (but Todd) with me.
I am almost done with my fifth straight shift... out of six. I am SO dragging ass. So tired I could just cry. I mean, there's nothing in particular to cry over, just the fact that I am physically and mentally worn out. I'm sitting here listening to some serious hard rock, just to kinda get some frustrations out. I mean... Marilyn Manson's "The Dope Show" is on now. I don't even particularly like Marilyn Manson, mostly the ones from the Queen of the Damned soundtrack, and I think that's more because although I know who's singing, I still associate it more with Stuart Townsend than I do Marilyn Manson.
Sadly, the more I think about it, the more I can't wait to move to the HVC and get away from some of the people in this office. Bill is a total moron. Cheryl's a two-faced bitch. Heather thinks the world revolves around Heather. Ryan is the laziest human being in existance. I will miss Scott, he's fun to work with, and fun to talk to. Andy and Jennifer are transferring with me. I'll miss Larri D and Diane and Tammy.
I think Bill may get written up over last night though. Admittedly, he was sick, but he totally screwed up. While on the clock, while he's supposed to be on the job, he went up and laid down on the couch on ICCU. He had blood pressure problems (due to taking his medication wrong... again), and he had some seriously low BP readings. And another thing is, I knew nothing about it until he was up again. I had to call out the surgery team, and of course since it was a procedure and doctor I knew nothing about, I called the wrong people twice before getting the right team. Yes, that was my mistake, but I had no idea who to get to help me, and the lady in the ER I talked to told me who to call, and I did... and she was wrong. Bill should have just called someone else to come in, someone who would actually help, and go to the ER to be checked out. I even paged him about another matter, and after two pages, he returned my call and answered that question and didn't bother mentioning that he'd been laid up in ICCU and was still there. *sigh*
An hour and a half til breakfast, and two and a half hours til I get to go home.
Hospital employees are definitely a strange breed. I got hungry earlier and I had my cereal with me, only nothing to eat it out of, so I went to the ER to get a puke pan, er, "emesis basin." Hey, whatever I can get my hands on. Oddly enough, no one looked at me strangely at all. Actually I got the idea from Linda, who usually eats her popcorn out of bed pans (no, they've never been used, they're disposable). I just got a smaller version for my cereal.
Horoscope: You are in the thick of things right now -- which means that you are just as far away from the beginning of something as you are from the ending of it. This is the perfect time to take a break, gather your thoughts and wait until you feel reenergized enough to move forward again. There is no rush, no pressure. So even if you feel the urge to push someone in a certain direction (this includes yourself), don't. It's important to just let things happen around you for a while. Wait things out.
Break? Break? What's that???
Quotes of the day: "What scare for Todd Pletcher? That he'd have to kiss his wife?" B
"That orange shirt would look great on my floor." Me, referring to Todd's sexy orange polo. Judy now thinks I'm strange, heh heh.
"I love Dick. I'd do anything for Dick." Cheryl (she was referring to a person, but that sounded SO bad)
(and even worse) "I'm trying to erect Dick out of bed." Cheryl

Current Location: hell
Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: "Forsaken" --Marilyn Manson

August 6th, 2006

Too hot to trot

8/6/06 04:26 am

So my boy Flower Alley didn't do so hot. On the upside, he wasn't horrible either. I think he just needed a race. He'll be much better next time out. But Invasor... WOW. That horse... damn. That's all that's to be said. Damn. He's just amazing. Horse of the Year material.
Other than wanting to kill Bill (hee) and Cheryl, tonight hasn't been so bad. It's actually gone by pretty fast, thank God. If I don't sleep well, I get sick, and thanks to my arm absolutely killing me, I didn't sleep worth crap yesterday. Damn carpal tunnel. Anyway, I went to go get in Adam's pants, er, take Adam a new pair of pants, and had to stop and yak on my way down there. So I've been sucking on pretzels ever since just to keep my tummy settled.
Bill and Cheryl are just obnoxious. They act like asshats, they think just because they have the title "nursing supervisor" that they should automatically get respect without doing anything to earn it. They think they can talk to whoever, however they want, and they should get no flack in return. That's bullshit. Then they sit and bitch about everyone behind their backs.
Cheryl's really pissed me off about Andy. The guy came from valet, and he's been in this job for three weeks now. Admittedly, his medical terminology sucks, but that's what we're here for, to teach. I've started making him a cheat sheet with common terms and what they mean. Instead of helping Andy out with what he doesn't know yet, Cheryl chooses just to badmouth him behind his back. He'll learn. At least he's not like lazy ass Ryan who just doesn't give a shit. He tries, he's just not familiar with a lot of terms yet.
One hour, 15 minutes til breakfast. I don't know if I can wait that long. Heh.
Quote of the day:
Me: "You jumped down my throat about the chest pain patient."
Adam: "I did not jump down your throat, I inquired in a stern tone."

Because I'm bored:

Unique

Nervous habits: fidgeting.
Are you double jointed? no
Can you roll your tongue? yes
Can you raise one eyebrow at a time? no
Can you blow spit bubbles? no
Can you cross your eyes? no
Tattoos? yup
Piercings? ears only
Do you make your bed daily? no, I'm lazy

Clothes

Which shoe goes on first? Either one
Speaking of shoes, have you ever thrown one at anyone? just a bug
On the average, how much money do you carry? $5 tops
What jewelry do you wear 24/7? my St Christopher necklace
Favorite piece of clothing? no idea

Food

Do you twirl your spaghetti or cut it? cut it, and now... thanks, I really want spaghetti
Have you ever eaten Spam? dear God no.
Do you use extra salt on your food? No. I don't like salt
How many cereals in your cabinet? one
What’s your favorite beverage? tea.
What’s your favorite fast food restaurant? Taco Bell
Do you cook? Yes.

Grooming

How often do you brush your teeth? Twice a day.
Hair drying method? towel dry as much as possible, then blow dry
Have you ever coloured/highlighted your hair? at least once a month

Manners

Do you swear? Fuck yes
Do you ever spit? No, I swallow. Oh, wait, did you mean it like that???

Favourites

Animal: horse.
Food: mexican
Month: May, particularly the first Saturday
Day: Saturday
Cartoon: Marvin the Martian
Shoe brand: the ones that are on sale
Subject in school: English
Colour: blue.
Sport: horse racing
TV shows: Dog: The Bounty Hunter, Law & Order, Anderson Cooper: 360
Thing to do in the spring: Go to the Derby
Thing to do in the summer: swim.
Thing to do in the autumn: Go to Keeneland
Thing to do in the winter: Go to the Breeders Cup

In and Around

In the CD player: a mix CD
Person you talk most on the phone with: lately just my mother. I never talk to anyone anymore.
Reading: The Partner by John Grisham
Do you regularly check yourself out in store windows/mirrors? no
What colour is your bedroom? beige
Do you use an alarm clock? I use my cell phone as one
Window seat or aisle? doesn't matter

Dumb

What’s your sleeping position? sprawled out
Even in hot weather do you use a blanket? Yes.
Do you snore? Not as far as I know.
Do you sleepwalk? Not as far as I know.
Do you talk in your sleep? only if Nyquil is involved
Do you sleep with stuffed animals? No.
How about with the light on? No. I sleep during the day
Do you fall asleep with the TV or radio on? On occasion
Last interesting person you met? Todd Pletcher

Current Location: work
Current Mood: working
Current Music: If I Was Your Girlfriend --Prince

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August 3rd, 2006

What's with all the bitches?

8/3/06 12:56 am

Okay first of all, let me say, I know I'm moody. I've been that way my whole life. But what's it with women who feel the need to turn into psycho bitches when they get pregnant? I have my temper, yes, but I'm more likely to cry over something now than to rip someone's head off over something minor. Seems like every other pregnant woman I know has just turned into psycho bitch from hell... this includes Heather. Maybe I should consider it a blessing that I'm going to the HVC.
Yes, that's the official word, I'm transferring to the HVC, my job opportunity as staffer did not work out. They only approved one of us to get the raise, and considering Heather is the kiss-ass, I'm sure that'd be her. So basically I was expected to do the same job as her for less pay. So instead, Scott is taking the job with Heather, Ryan is staying in the nursing office, and Andy, Jennifer and I will be going to the HVC, and two new hires will be hired to start with us. Jennifer and Andy are good workers, so I'm happy that they're going too. Heather's turned into a bit of a bitch lately, so I think I'm happy to get away. Danita, nursing supervisor, has turned into a royal bitch lately too. She's just petty and nitpicky. I have a crap load of white socks with grey toes and heels, and the ankle bands on some of them are very slightly different. Danita commented that my socks didn't match. I just kinda laughed it off and said I must not have paid much attention before grabbing them out of the basket. They said "You don't sit and match all of those up?" I have probably 20 pairs of grey and white socks, no, I don't. I usually leave them in the basket and grab 2 out as i need them. Then of course on a regular basis she has to crack on the age difference between me and Larry. Big deal. I look younger than my age, he looks older than his, and neither of us act our ages. Besides, whose business is it besides ours? Fuck off. Besides, 34 year old Psycho Ex has given me more troubles and less happiness than Larry ever has.
So now I gotta buy new clothes and it will be no more scrubs for me. The hospital will provide the sweater sets for us, but now I need black pants and khakis and shoes. This blows. I have only one pair of black pants, that my belly has gotten too big for, one pair of khakis that I don't particularly like, and no work appropriate shoes that would go with either pair of pants. I do have a really cool pair of flowy black pants, but I don't think the sweaters would look right with them. Ag.
Random questions, comment me back with your answers
Name the last person you...

1. Hugged: Dale

2. Smiled at: Diane

3. Deceived: I don't know, probably the cafeteria lady when I said I didn't mind waiting while she had her thumb up her ass

4. Glared at: The Wendy's bitch

5. Lusted after: Todd Pletcher

Current Location: hell
Current Music: Cry Me A River --Justin Timberlake

July 26th, 2006

song survey

7/26/06 11:06 pm

1. Choose a band / artist and answer in titles of their songs.
Jimmy Buffett

2. Are you male or female?
Brown Eyed GIrl

3. Describe yourself:
Distantly In Love

4. How do some people feel about you:
Growing Older But Not Up

5. How do you feel about yourself:
Life Is Just A Tire Swing

6. Ex boyfriends/girlfriends:
The Asshole Song (Were you born an asshole, or did you work at it your whole life.... either way it worked out fine, 'cuz you're an asshole tonight.)

7. Current boyfriend/girlfriend/crush:
Someone I Used To Love

8. Describe where you want to be:
Banana Republics

9. Describe where you live?
Southern Cross

10. Describe how you live:
Trying to Reason With Hurricane Season

11. What would you ask for if you had just one wish:
Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes

12. Share a few words of Wisdom:
Be Young, Be Foolish, Be Happy

13. Any general advice:
We Are The People Our Parents Warned Us About

14. Share a favorite pickup line:
If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body (Would You Hold It Against Me?)

15. And if that one doesn't work:
My Head Hurts, My Feet Stink and I Don't Love Jesus

16. What secondary school do/did you attend:
Come Monday (???)

17. Pepsi or coke:
Anything, Anytime, Anywhere

18. Any pets?
White Sports Coat and a Pink Crustacean

19. Favorite food:
Last Mango In Paris

20. Do you drink?
Blame It On The Rum

21. Say goodbye:
If The Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me

Current Location: home
Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Tin Cup Chalice

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July 22nd, 2006

a rant

7/22/06 08:54 pm

All right. How do I tolerate a friend who practically lives a double life? This chick wants help from me, but she's not being honest with much of anyone. She claims to be a Christian, and O So Holy, but I know for a fact she drinks... a LOT, and sleeps around. Obviously, I'm not perfect, however, I don't claim to be. I don't put out one persona for one set of friends, and another more public persona. A few of us know the truth about how she really is, the majority of people think she's Miss Holy Roller (which by the way would be a great name for a Holy Bull baby). She calls, she leaves messages, etc... but right now I"m just not comfortable hanging with her or even talking to her. She's also Miss Drama Queen, but a lot of it is self inflicted. However, she still gets depressed and/or suicidal (so she says... hell, I don't know what to believe out of her), so I'm almost afraid to say anything to her, afraid it will set her off. I'm trying to have as little drama as possible in my life right now. I'm going for simplicity. I have enough of my own crap to deal with without bringing other people's crap into it, especially people I'm not overly close to anyway. If my closest friends have drama... I"m there. I'll help them deal. I'll listen, I'll help in any way possible. But a casual acquaintance who is way needier than I'm prepared to be involved in.... I'm not gonna do it. She attaches herself to people, and expects way too much out of them. But like I said, I don't know how to detach myself from that situation.
In happier news... YES!! Giacomo just won!!!! He's back!!!!

Current Location: in front of TVG
Current Mood: aggravated

Lazy and in need of a shower is not a good combination

7/22/06 12:22 am

But I"m home alone, so it doesn't matter. I'll stay funky until morning.
Can I just say that I hate sleeping alone? Hate it. Didn't realize how much I hated it until Cupcake stayed over the other night. We actually only snuggled up about an hour or so, but just knowing someone's laying close to me makes me feel so much better, and knowing that if I want to, I can roll over and snuggle, however.... I still do like my side of the bed. Knowing there's an option makes me feel better though.
He's so silly. We went out and I got my feelings kinda hurt over something lame, so I chose to sit on a stool somewhat away from him while he was shooting pool with a friend of his. Between shots, he'd come over and stand next to me, when I told him it was perfectly fine to stay over there with his friend. He said "The point of tonight is so we can hang out, and if you won't come to me then I'll come to you." Obviously we made up quicky. We went outside, talked for a few minutes... end of problem. He's starting to mature (finally). I can't expect a total turnaround overnight, but we had a nice conversation, and he's gotten his head on his shoulders on a lot of matters That really helps, because I'm moody and emotional right now.
I feel like shit today. I don't know why, I got enough sleep, but I'm dragging ass. I'm gonna hit the hay soon so I can get up... and spend the day in front of TVG. There's been some hellacious storms today, and I think they're supposed to continue tomorrow, so I won't feel bad about being lazy. Calder is having a Gray Pride Stakes. How cute is that name? Giacomo races this weekend too. I can't wait, I hope he wins. He's racing against Preachinatthebar, so it's hard to make a choice, but Giacomo hasn't won since the Derby, and he deserves a win. He's a good horse. Not that Preachinatthebar isn't, but he's had more wins than Giacomo, time for Giacomo to win.
Anyway... I hear the couch calling my name. Time to veg a bit, and then hit the hay. I'm trying to avoid stuffing my face... again. Sometimes I'm not even hungry, I just want food, so I eat. Not good. I know I can get away with it now, but I'd rather start good habits now so I can lose the weight quickly.

Current Mood: lethargic

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July 13th, 2006

Part II

7/13/06 02:54 am

Top sports moments part II, because I thought of about a million more once I posted the other one, again in random order.

1. Point Given/Macho Uno Breeders Cup Juvenile. Macho Uno won by a nose, after a beautiful stretch run by Point Given
2. Mardi Gras Miracle. UK trailed by 31 points with 15:34 left in the game, came back to defeat an LSU team that featured Shaquille O'Neal.
3. Cigar's 16th win. Tying Citation for most consecutive wins.
4. St Liam's Breeders Cup Classic Win. Just beautiful
5. Da Hoss's second BC Mile Victory. "This is the greatest comeback since Lazarus." Well put.
6. St Liam's Woodward win. Jerry never even asked him to run.
7. Volponi's Breeders Cup Classic Win. 40-1 blew away a field that included War Emblem, Macho Uno and Dollar Bill
8. Tiznow's second Breeders Cup Classic Victory. Tiznow wins it for America!
9. UK/Duke NCAA South Regional Finals 1998. On UK's way to their seventh national championship, they definitely earned the "Comeback Cats" title.
10. Giacomo's Kentucky Derby. Mike Smith's vindication for Giacomo's daddy.
(tie) Afleet Alex's Preakness. Went to his knees at the top of the stretch... that sight still makes my heart beat faster every time I watch it.

Current Location: work
Current Mood: bouncy
Current Music: Lyfe Jennings --SEX

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July 12th, 2006

Fun

7/12/06 05:00 am

Ten Unforgetable Sports Moments that You Actually Saw (not ones you saw later on tape) Clarification: you didn’t have to be at the game, but you had to be watching it when it happened
Found this one someone's journal, figured I'd steal it. Mine are in no particular order, just ten I really liked.

1. Bandini's Blue Grass Stakes. Amazing. God, I love that horse.
2. UK's 1996 National Championship. Love my Cats!!!!
3. Point Given's Belmont. He blew 'em away without an effort. I think had Gary used the whip, he could have doubled his winning margin. However, no reason to use the whip when it's that easy.
4. UK's 1998 National Championship. Again, love my Cats!!!!!
5. Barbaro breaking down in the Preakness. Not a pleasant memory, but definitely unforgetable.
6. Chris Antley holding up Charismatic's broken leg in the Belmont. I cry every time I even see a picture of it.
7. Silver Charm/Touch Gold in the Belmont. How I wish the outcome had been different, but that was amazing.
8. Monarchos' Kentucky Derby. Second fastest time in history. I couldn't even be bitter about Point Given losing.
9. Duke/UK Game National Championship 1992. Christian Laettner standing on Aminu Timberlake's chest and not being called for a foul. Yes, I'm still bitter about this game, and I still wish explosive diarrhea on Laettner for this.
10. Funny Cide's Ky Derby. I had to throw this one in, because I was there, pressed against the fence and Jose Santos had to be the happiest man alive at that moment. He smiled and waved to the crowd. The following "to-do" about him supposedly having something in his hand just made me that much more impressed with him.

I tag whoever.

Current Location: work
Current Mood: amused
Current Music: Ladies Night --Kool and the Gang

July 8th, 2006

Another fun type thingie

7/8/06 01:58 am

I already did this on Xanga, but I figured I'd try it again with different shuffle :)

IF A MOVIE WAS MADE OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?

So, here's how it works:

Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
Put it on shuffle.
Press play.
For every question type the song that's playing.
When you go to a new question press the next button.
Ready? GO!

Opening Credits: "Best Friend" Brandy

Waking Up: "The Man He Didn't Have To Be" Brad Paisley

Falling In Love: "Let's Dance" David Bowie

Fight Scene: "It's About You" Train (so the fight must be with Psycho Ex.... that's his theme song)

Breaking Up: "Sit On My Face" Monty Python (LMAO!!!!! this should be more of a make up song)

Make-up: "Let Me Clear My Throat" (oh my, this could be taken all kinds of ways)

Secret Love: "Forsaken" from the Queen of the Damned CD (he's a vampire?)

Life's Okay: "When the World Ends" Dave Matthews Band

Mental Breakdown: "We On Fire" Lloyd Banks

Driving: "Ruff Ryders Anthem" DMX (this reminds me of the commercial with the white business guys jammin to DMX, and they turn it down when the boss calls)

Flashbacks: "Mea Culpa" Enigma (flashbacks from Siegfried & Roy perhaps)

Happy Dance: "Girl Like That" Matchbox 20

Regretting: "Turn Me On" Kevin Lyttle (huh???)

Long Night Alone: "Big Booty Hoes" Notorious BIG (oh my!)

Final Battle: "I'm Back" Eminem

Ending Credits: "Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad" Meat Loaf (well that's depressing)

Current Location: home
Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: Mo Money Mo Problems --Puffy Daddy, Mase and Notoroius BIG

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July 7th, 2006

Get down girl, go 'head get down

7/7/06 03:51 am

Picked up from Nancy

1. Bold what is true about you.
2. Italicize what you wish was true about you.
3. Add one true thing about you to the end of the list.
4. Tag five LJ friends.

* I miss somebody right now.
* I don't watch much TV these days.
* I own lots of books.
* I wear glasses or contact lenses.
* I love to play video games.
* I've tried marijuana.
* I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
* I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
* I curse sometimes. As opposed to constantly.
* I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
* I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
* I have broken someone's bones.
* I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
* I hate the rain.
* I'm paranoid at times.
* I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
* I need/want money right now.
* I love sushi.
* I talk really, really fast.
* I have fresh breath in the morning.
* I have long hair.
* I have lost money in Las Vegas.
* I have at least one sibling.
* I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
* I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyelashes in the past.
* I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
* I like the way that I look.
* I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
* I am usually pessimistic.
* I have a lot of mood swings.
* I think prostitution should be legalized.
* I slept with a roommate.
* I have a hidden talent.
* I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
* I have a lot of friends.
* I have pecked someone of the same sex.
* I enjoy talking on the phone.
* I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants. (in the summer)
* I love to shop and/or window shop.
* I'm obsessed with my Xanga or Livejournal.
* I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
* I have a cell phone.
* I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
* I've rejected someone before.
* I currently like/love someone.
* I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
* I want to have children in the future.
* I have changed a diaper before.
* I've called the cops on a friend before.
* I'm not allergic to anything.
* I have a lot to learn.
* I am shy around the opposite sex.
* I'm online 24/7, even as an away message.
* I have at least 5 away messages saved.
* I have tried alcohol or drugs before.
* I have made a move on a friend's significant other or crush in the past.
* I own the "South Park" movie.
* I have avoided assignments at work/school to be on Xanga or Livejournal.
* I enjoy some country music.
* I would die for my best friends.
* I'm obsessive, and often a perfectionist.
* I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
* Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
* I have dated a close friend's ex.
* I am happy at this moment.
* I'm obsessed with guys.
* I am punk rockish.
* I go for older guys/girls, not younger.
* I study for tests most of the time.
* I tie my shoelaces differently from anyone I've ever met.
* I can work on a car.
* I love my job(s).
* I am comfortable with who I am right now.
* I have more than just my ears pierced.
* I walk barefoot wherever I can.
* I have jumped off a bridge.
* I love sea turtles.
* I spend ridiculous amounts of money on makeup.
* I plan on achieving a major goal/dream.
* I am proficient on a musical instrument.
* I hate office jobs.
* I went to college out of state.
* I am adopted.
* I am a pyro.
* I have thrown up from crying too much.
* I have been intentionally hurt by people that I loved.
* I fall for the worst people.
* I adore bright colors.
* I usually like covers better than originals.
* I hate chain theme restaurants like Applebees and TGIFridays.
* I can pick up things with my toes.
* I can't whistle.
* I have ridden/owned a horse.
* I still have every journal I've ever written in.
* I talk in my sleep.
* I've often thought that I was born in the wrong century.
* I try to forget things by drowning them out with loads of distractions.
* I wear a toe ring.
* I have a tattoo.
* I can't stand at LEAST one person that I work with.
* I am a caffeine junkie.
* I am completely tree-huggy spiritual, and I'm not ashamed at all.
* If I knew I would get away with it, I would commit at least one murder.
* I will collect anything, and the more nonsensical, the better.
* I enjoy a nice glass of wine with dinner.
* I'm an artist.
* I am ambidextrous.
* I sleep with so many stuffed animals, I can hardly fit on my bed.
* If it weren't for having to see other people naked, I'd live in a nudist colony.
* I have terrible teeth.
* I hate my toes.
* I did this Meme even though I wasn't tagged by the person who took it before me.
* I have more friends on the internet than in real life.
* I have lived in either three different states or countries or provinces
* I am extremely flexible.
* I love hugs more than kisses.
* I want to own my own business.
* I smoke.
* I spend way too much time on the computer than on anything else.
* Sad movies, games, and the like can cause a trickle of tears every now and then.
* I am proficient in the use of many types firearms and combat weapons.
* I like the way women look in stylized men's suits.
* I don't like it when people are unpleased or seem unpleased with me.
* I have been described as a dreamer or likely to have my head up in the clouds.
* I have played strip poker with someone else before.
* I have had emotional problems for which I have sought professional help.
* I believe in ghosts and the paranormal.
* I can't stand being alone.
* I have at least one obsession at any given time.
* I weigh myself, pee/poo, and then weigh myself again.
* I consistently spend way too much money on obsessions-of-the-moment.
* I'm a judgmental asshole.
* I'm a HUGE drama-queen.
* I have traveled on more than one continent.
* I sometimes wish my father would just disappear.
* I need people to tell me I'm good at something in order to feel that I am.
* I am a Libertarian.
* I can fall asleep even if the whole room is as noisy as it can be.
* I would rather read than watch TV.
* I like reading fact more than fiction.
* I have pulled an all-nighter on an assignment I was given a month to do.
* I have no piercings.
* I have spent the night in a train station or other public place.
* I have been so upset over my physical gender that I cried.
* I've been married and am now divorced.
* There have been times when I have wondered "Why was I born?" and may/may not have cried over it.
* I like most animals better than most people.
* I own a collection of retro game consoles.
* The thought of physical exercise makes me shiver.
* I have hit someone with a dead fish.
* I am compulsively honest.
* I was born with a congenital birth defect that has never been repaired.
* I have danced topless in front of dozens of complete strangers.
* I have gone from wishing I was a boy to revelling in being a girl to feeling like a boy again in the span of five minutes, and not cared a whit for my actual sex.
* I am unashamedly bisexual, and have different motivations for my desires for different genders.
* I sometimes won't sleep a whole night or eat a whole day because I forget to.
* I find it impossible to get to sleep without some kind of music on.
* I dislike milk.
* I obsessively wash my hands.
* I always carry something significant around with me.
* Sometimes I'd rather wear a wig in day-to-day life than use my own hair.
* I've pushed myself to become more self-aware and thereby more aware of others.
* Even though I live on my own I still cry sometimes because I miss my mother.
* I hand wrote all the HTML tags in this document.
* I've liked something which a majority of people claimed was either bad or weird.
* I have been clinically dead for a brief period of time.
* Instead of feeling sympathy/empathy with people and their problems, I simply become annoyed.
* I participate/have participated in auto drag races and won.
* I do not 'get' most comedy acts.
* I don't think strippers are money-greedy or slutty for dancing.
* I don't like to chew gum.
* I am obsessed with history/historical things and can't wait for someone to build a time machine so I can be the first to use it.
* I can never remember for the life of me where I parked the car.
* Had the TEEN ANGST thing going for at least 2-3 years.
* I wish people would be more empathic and honest with each other.
* I play Dungeons and Dragons weekly.
* I love to sing.
* I want to live in my mother's basement when I grow up.
* I have a custom-built computer.
* I want to create a certain someone's babies, even though there's a 0% possiblity of ever achieving it.
* I would be in a relationship with one of my pets if they were human.
* I've gone skinny-dipping.
* I've performed in three plays, all of them Shakespeare.
* I enjoy burritos.
* I'm Irish and lovin' it.
* I have a thing for redheads.
* I am a twin!
* Most times, I'd rather do something intellectual instead of doing something generically 'fun'.
* Once I set out to finish something, I always stay at it until it is completed before I move on to something else.
* I wish there were a way to erase past mistakes.
* I wish I could do High School all over again.
* I have big interest swings every year.
* I have loved Pokemon since the beginning and continue to do so.
* There's no genre of music I dislike.
* I've read every work written by my favorite author(s)
* No matter how much I sleep, I'm always tired.
* I'd rather eat out than cook.
* I am obsessed with actors that are older than I am.
* I can move my little toes independently.
* I enjoy purchasing and wearing articles of clothing and/or accessories that have skulls on them.
* I'm obsessive in a way that makes me have to organise everything
* I don't like waking up early and go to sleep very, very late.
* I hate it when people misuse 'words' like "anyways" and "seldomly."
* I am guilty of having written angsty teen poetry.
* I'm afraid of spiders.
* I dislike 1 or 2 family members
* I've had a 'Long Island Iced Tea' before.
* I hate the way I look, but hate the fact I hate it even more.
* I hate being angry and I try to hide the fact that I am most of the time.
* I have broken a cell phone by throwing it.
* I've felt like I'm a failure at being a good friend recently
* I want to write a novel someday.
* I often find myself wasting time wishing that an assignment or project would do itself.
* I've met a famous person

I don't have 5 LJ friends, so whoever wants it, take it.

Current Location: work
Current Mood: apathetic
Current Music: Golddigger

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July 6th, 2006

Why?

7/6/06 03:53 pm

I am stressed beyond stress. To the point that I'd love to just curl up in a ball and die. Or at least disappear for a week or two. I feel like shit, everything's going wrong.
Then.... and only God knows why I feel like this.... I'm leaving work this morning and I turn on my cell phone, and I have a message from "him." No, not the new guy.... an old one. "I really just called to tell you I love you, I miss you, and goodnight." He misses me. We were together Friday night. God help me, those words from him still make me feel so much better. Why? We've been through hell, we've put each other through hell, yet hearing him tell me he loves me makes things good, at least for awhile.
I saved the message, listened to it about ten times. I'm a sap of the highest degree. My life is strange, to say the least.

Current Location: home
Current Mood: indescribable
Current Music: Law & Order theme song

July 2nd, 2006

wheeeee

7/2/06 01:27 pm

Funny Cide won! Yay! Glad to see the old guy returning to the winners enclosure.
On the opposite end of the spectrum, I feel like shit today. I didn't drink (obviously), but I feel hung over. Could be due to the fact that we went to bed about 7a, I got up at noon after waking up every hour. I've tried everything to wake up. I took a hot shower, drank some diet dew... still feel like total hell. Drying my hair now, because the Cupcake wouldn't snuggle up with me while I had wet hair. Puss. He's whining that it's cold when it's wet. Men can be such babies.
So obviously, hung out with him and a couple of his friends last night... a pair who are kinda like us. Broken up but can't stay away from each other. Anyway, we had a blast. Everyone else was drunk off their asses, so I had a good time laughing at them. Kelly and I made a 4 am grocery run, which was interesting to say the least. The "women-folk" got sent to the store together so there could be quality male bonding... whatever that is. I guess they sat around drinking, burping and scratching themselves.
Anyway, like I said, I didn't drink but I feel like shit. I was even yakking earlier (maybe TMI, but this is my blog, so if you don't like it, piss off, ha ha). I think I'm gonna go lay down for a bit longer. Even if I don't get some sleep, I'll at least get in some quality snuggling time. Hope everyone out there feels better than I do at this point.

Current Location: home
Current Mood: exhausted
Current Music: call to post (watching TVG)

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June 29th, 2006

It's dare

6/29/06 03:54 am

Yes, the song is still in my head. Doesn't help that I'm listening to it right now, ha ha.
I have come to the conclusion that there are a lot of stupid people in this hospital, and not all are patients, a lot are employees. Of course, with 3000 employees, statistically that's to be expected. However, their stupidity never ceases to amaze me. For instance, the housekeeper who apparently can't figure out that when a phone number comes across his pager, he's supposed to call it back. I've had to overhead page him twice because apparently the pager is too complicated for him. Now I just had to give up a private room to a lady who was supposed to go to a semi private because the housekeeper left the floor sticky and the room a mess. RSTD didn't think they had to go behind the housekeeper and check the room, if he says it's clean, they took his word for it, and it wasn't clean. I paged him and told him what they said, and he said "The floor is sticky? The Virex shouldn't do that." You don't fucking use Virex on a floor. Even I know that. It's like a desk and tabletop cleaner, not for tile floors.
He's in serious danger of a bitch slapping. Danita just ran into another housekeeper, who is supposed to be cleaning procedure rooms and stuff, and asked him to go help clean rooms because this moron can't figure it out.
I need a vacation in the worst way. Fortunately we have three new people coming in soon. Ben starts the 10th, Andy starts the 17th and not sure of Jennifer's start date yet. I figure she'll probably start the same day as Andy. Thank God.
It doesn't help that I didn't sleep well last night, because lack of sleep and idiotic people make me more cranky than usual.

Current Location: hell
Current Mood: cranky
Current Music: Money Talks --Lil Kim

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June 28th, 2006

Stop. Drop. Shut 'em down, open up shop

6/28/06 04:26 am

So apparently Cupcake is over the "heartbreak." He called me today while I was getting ready for work and was his usual cheerful self. It sucks that I had to work today because I would have loved to have done something with him this evening, go shoot pool, or just ride around or something. It's a nice day out there, and I've not seen him since my birthday.
He's silly. He called and said "What? You can't call or nothing!" I talked to him last weekend and I've been working pretty much nonstop since then. I'd planned on calling him last weekend to see if he wanted to hang out, but then my days off got cut down to two, and after the hellacious work week, I slept almost one full day, and the other was used to catch up on laundry and housework. Trust me, I would have rather spent time with him.
He's in his protective mode again, and silly me, I kinda like it. He got kicked out of a bar for starting shit with my ex who liked to knock me around. The fool actually tried to lie about his name and say he doesn't know me. Nevermind that the last time I saw this guy, Cupcake was with me, and he told the guy that if he as much as speaks to me again, he's a dead man.
Anyway, we've talked like four times tonight, which is not typical for us, we usually don't talk that many times in a day. Of course, it's been a week since we've talked, thanks to my work schedule, so I guess that explains it. The last couple of convos were like two minute convos because he was cooking dinner, and then eating dinner, I told him I'd call back tomorrow while getting ready for work. Hopefully we'll be able to hang out or see each other sometime this weekend.
Dr Sexy is on call tonight, and I got to talk to his sleepy sexy self. I don't remember what I'd said to him, something about a patient, and he said "Yeah, that sounds good." That sounded so fricken hot coming from him. He knows just what to say to get my mind in gutter mode. Okay, so if I'm talking to him, just hearing him breathe puts me in gutter mode, but that's beside the point. One night he called me about a patient and asked "So where do you think you're gonna put it?" (STOP IT!) and once I told him probably the chest pain unit, he said "Mmm, that sounds good." (STOP IT!!!) He's such a fricken tease. One of these days I'm going to have to give him a spanking. Funny thing is, face to face, he's so shy. I get more conversation out of him on the phone than I do in person. In person he mumbles one word answers and blushes. If I actually gave him a spanking, he'd probably go into cardiac arrest. I'd hate to think what he'd do if he found out my crude ideas for uses for his big ears.
Not seen creepy security guy tonight, which is all good with me. I'm in a great mood for getting to talk to Cupcake, but I'm still pissed enough at the security jerk that I'd happily tell him off. Maybe I'm just evil :)

Current Location: work
Current Mood: determined
Current Music: Ruff Ryders Anthem --DMX

June 27th, 2006

Danke Shoen, darlin danke shoen...

6/27/06 01:08 am

So poor Cupcake is "heartbroken" according to the post I got on MySpace. I have no idea what about, but my guess is either Courtney shot him down, or she got back with her ex, or both. How anyone can be "heartbroken" over someone they've never dated, I don't know. Part of me wants him to never have any painful experiences (although from experience, he'll be over this in two days), but part of me thinks at least he'll learn some kind of lesson from it. However I find the whole thing a bit silly. That'd be like me considering myself "heartbroken" because Todd Pletcher is married.
Personally right now I'd like to consider myself bitter and through with love right now, but unfortunately that can't be. I've kinda somewhat been talkin to this guy for a bit. It's totally not a good idea for me to get involved with anyone right now, but he knows what all's goin on, and he's been such a sweetie. *sigh* I have no idea what the hell to do.
I hate people right now. Well, just some people. Why do some guys think that just because they think a girl is cute, that the girl should just automatically return the feelings? Then, if the girl doesn't, they act like asses. This security guard called me shallow because I said that Dr Sexy was hot. Dude, everyone can be shallow at times. Not like I'm getting into a relationship with the guy (his wife wouldn't like that), I just admire the view. Besides, he's also a total sweetheart, which is another reason I find him sexy. Anyway, this security ass then asks me why I never went after him. Um, because he's not attractive, not nice, and a total dumbass? So I just went for a semi-true statement... he's too easy, there's no chase involved (not that I'd chase him in a million years). So now he proceeds to take subtle digs at me, none of which are true, which only succeeds in pissing me off. He told me I only dated pretty boys. Not true. Cupcake is as redneck as they come, NOT a pretty boy. Psycho Ex, also a redneck. Kenny.... redneck. Matt....redneck. Ronnie ... redneck.(Do we see a pattern here?)Stu looked like either Matt Lillard or Vince Vaughn, depending on the hair (yeah, I know, big change there, but he really did). Gary... hot, but not pretty. Cal... cute, but not pretty. Most of the guys I've dated are attractive, but not pretty. I haven't dated a pretty boy since Tyler, and that was God... what? Seven years ago if not more. Then he said something about me having a cat fetish, due to the fact that he once saw a picture of me with my cat Biscuit. I said "One picture does not mean a fetish, and two, dumbass, she died last year." I hate this fuckwad and he doesn't get the hint. Then I had another security guard basically ask for no-strings-attached sex (as if!) and when I shot him down, he started acting pissy. For one, he's married. Two, that's not my thing. Three, even if it was my thing, not a chance in hell I'd do it with him. Basically that would only be my thing if Todd Pletcher, Anderson Cooper or Lance Bass (SHUT UP! I still think he's hot) asked. I'm apparently a jerk magnet.
So anyway...I have no idea why I'm listening to a classic rock station right now. Okay, yes I do. Reception sucks in the hospital, and I listen to whatever I can get. However, right now, Rolling Stones' "Beast of Burden" is on, and thanks to some website I read, I now hear this song as "I'll never your pizza burnin." Oh well, it's a temporary distraction from me singing "Dare" nonstop.

Current Location: Work
Current Mood: contemplative
Current Music: Beast of Burden --Rolling Stones

June 24th, 2006

Damn you Lance Bass...

6/24/06 08:06 pm

... for getting this song stuck in my head. And damn me for just about turning this song into something more obscene than it is. I thought it said "You got to press it on you, you got to hold it down there." It says "... you got to hold it down, dare." It doesn't make a lot of sense, but that's a hell of a lot cleaner than what I thought it said.
I need to color my hair in the worst way. I wore it pulled back yesterday and noticed i had a grey streak right up the middle. With my black hair, I look like Pepe LePew.
Worked 54 hours this week, off for two days, then go in for 48 hours next week. I think they're trying to kill me. I was supposed to have 4 days off but Heather called in for two of those, so that didn't happen. While I don't want to think anything bad of her, I find it suspicious that she came back on her third day she would have called off. If you call off three days, you have to go to Occupational Med before being allowed to come back. Anyway, I think I've crossed the threshold where the extra hours would make any difference on my paycheck. I've worked enough OT that taxes are going to absolutely inhale any extra money I'd have from that. I've pretty much worked my ass off for nothing.
I slept for 9 hours, but I'm still sleepy. I was hoping to enjoy some time off, but I spent one of my two days off sleeping, and the other will be spent doing laundry and cleaning. Fun.
Well, the good news is, Flower Alley won his first race back off layoff. Glad to see my boy doing so well. Wish I would have seen that race, and his beautiful trainer. *sigh*

Current Mood: cranky
Current Music: Dare --Gorillaz